Maya is becoming mobile these days, and has no problem crawling her way to anything that catches her attention. So I'm on double duty now, with two wonderfully active little girls.
Being a parent is such a humbling position to be in. For example, a couple nights ago during our midweek service here at the base, Jasmine kept trying to run up front during the worship times. I didn't mind that because I would just follow her up and stand behind her as she climbed into a chair, bobbed her head, and clapped her hands to the music. But then she tried to run up front once our guest speaker began to share. I knelt down - so as not to interrupt everyone - and tried to catch her before she ran up the middle aisle. I barely caught her, and actually caught some of her hair as I grabbed the back of her shirt.
My mind was immediately racing with thoughts like, "Oh great, people are going to think I'm an abusive mother." and "I'll bet people are thinking their children would never do anything like this." Aaarg. I was quite embarassed. That's actually an understatement. I was humiliated and promptly returned home, where I lay in the kitchen floor to cry and pray. It was a very dramatic moment. I can smile about it now, but it was so very unfunny at that moment. I'm not sure how other people raise their children without continually returning to God for wisdom and a bit more grace for the day. Hmmm . . .
Also, I would like to say that I think perfection is overrated. I was making a card for someone the other day, and left it unattended long enough for Jasmine to find a pen and make her mark. My first thought was - no problem! I can cover that right up with another piece of paper! However, after reconsidering, I decided to incorporate it into an encouragement to a new mother. It will say something like this:
With children comes imperfection. Diapers will need to be changed, messes will be made, and inevitably, they will get into things that would have been better left alone - like cereal, for instance. Or my art stash. Anyway . . . children have a way of exposing our vulnerabilities and our imperfections. However, it is those moments of exasperation, fatigue - those moments we are not our best - that we become most thankful there is Someone who is perfect. It is our weaknesses, not our strengths, that compel us to long for perfection. And our longing for perfection is not a longing for an abstract concept - it is a longing that has potential to lead us to a Living God. . .
Well, I will say something like that, anyway.
