I have loved God for as long as I can remember. When I was a young teen, I can remember weekly trying to get all my chores done so I could call and arrange for someone to give me a ride to church. I loved the people, the music, but I especially appreciated the chance to learn all I could about God.
My mom had been diagnosed as bipolar when I was young, so my brother and I were witnesses to that instability throughout our childhood. Depression was a frequent visitor, with bouts of anger and spurts of energetic endeavors sprinkled between. It was not uncommon to have all the windows covered with blankets or tinfoil, or to wake up finding everything rearranged, because Mom had stayed up all night to deep-clean the entire house.
At the age of 15, my brother and I found ourselves living with our step-dad. A couple more unexpected twists, and I was adopted by my grandparents . . . just in time to witness my Papaw have a stroke. He died a few months before my junior year in high school began. Because of these circumstances, and even more than I care to fully articulate online, I was very depressed throughout high school and struggled to connect with others my age.
At the age of 15, my brother and I found ourselves living with our step-dad. A couple more unexpected twists, and I was adopted by my grandparents . . . just in time to witness my Papaw have a stroke. He died a few months before my junior year in high school began. Because of these circumstances, and even more than I care to fully articulate online, I was very depressed throughout high school and struggled to connect with others my age.
It's hard to see the possibility of anything good coming out of such circumstances.
Is living with a depressive-prone mother good? Losing a Grandfather just when I had the chance to get to know him? What about depression and the feelings of isolation and insecurity throughout high school?
Is living with a depressive-prone mother good? Losing a Grandfather just when I had the chance to get to know him? What about depression and the feelings of isolation and insecurity throughout high school?
It seems the fault lies in my misunderstanding of what God sees as "good." I'm sure God does want to see his people blessed and prospering, but not to the point of allowing us to become indifferent towards the condition of the rest of the world. After all, doesn’t God value character over comfort?
Please do not misunderstand me; I am not saying God prefers seeing us endure painful situations rather than living a life free from hardship. But the reality is, most Christians do and will continue to experience difficulties; however God’s redemptive nature will not allow any of our pain to be wasted. All things: every joy, every trial, every triumph, every moment of despair, every difficult circumstance is an opportunity for us to personally witness the revealed heart of God in our lives.
I'm certain there were a few doubts about that one - all things working for good - with the martyrs who died in the Roman coliseums with a lion tearing them apart; but how could they know their death would fan the flame of fellow Christians, and ignite an inferno amongst the living dead? How can we know the effect our own trials have on those around us? We may never know this side of heaven, but until then we can begin to recognize and experience the revealed nature and character of God in ways that may never be possible on the other side of eternity.
If it is true that heaven is all that the Bible describes it to be, then I can reason that there are some aspects of God’s character that may never be personally experienced once I am there.
If it is true that there are no tears, no darkness, no fear of impending disaster or harm, then I can also assume that the expressions of His character that are revealed to me in those moments of need are no longer necessary.
How can I know Him as a comforter if I’ve never experienced grief?
How can I experience Him as the Healer if I’ve never been sick?
Could I ever appreciate the fact that God is a Father - to the depth that I do - if I had an earthly father of my own? I'm not sure.
We will hear stories and see the faithfulness of God in the lives of others, but deep and personal understanding of the nature of God will most likely be attained on this side of heaven, through our own lives.
If it is true that there are no tears, no darkness, no fear of impending disaster or harm, then I can also assume that the expressions of His character that are revealed to me in those moments of need are no longer necessary.
How can I know Him as a comforter if I’ve never experienced grief?
How can I experience Him as the Healer if I’ve never been sick?
Could I ever appreciate the fact that God is a Father - to the depth that I do - if I had an earthly father of my own? I'm not sure.
We will hear stories and see the faithfulness of God in the lives of others, but deep and personal understanding of the nature of God will most likely be attained on this side of heaven, through our own lives.
