Trustworthy

2009 - last year - was one of the most challenging summers of my adult life. 

I was pregnant, hormonal, depressed, and overwhelmed. We had very little money, and the home we had purchased needed a lot of work before we could move into it. Ethan was working a job, and trying to renovate our trailer in the evenings. Thankfully, a dear friend offered to let us stay in her home until we could get into our own.

At one point in the summer, the same story came up three times - The story of Abraham climbing Mount Moriah to sacrifice his son Isaac. 

It is a story of provision, and it's also a story about learning to trust God. 

I heard it on the radio, my pastor preached about it, and a friend reminded me of it – all in the same week. After hearing it for the third time, I wrote in my journal "I guess God's trying to tell me that he's trustworthy or something." I felt really annoyed, because I was really having a hard time trusting God, and that story just seemed to highlight my insufficient faith.

Well, fast forward to Christmas Eve. We had just moved into our home that week. We had no furniture and very little of anything else. That evening, Ethan's parents backed into our driveway with a full-sized bed for us to sleep on and a truckload of groceries. As we began unloading the back of the truck, I stepped into the bathroom and began to cry. I felt so blessed!

After all the groceries were unloaded, mom handed me a plastic bag. "I got the girls some presents, but I didn't have time to wrap them, so I'll just give them to you to wrap."'

With that, she and dad left, and I headed to my bedroom to sort through the gifts. As I sorted each of the gifts into piles for my three girls, I finally emptied the bag. 

It took me a moment, but then I saw it - this empty plastic bag with the words Trustworthy Trustworthy Trustworthy all over it. In the middle of the bag - in caps - it said: 

TRUSTWORTHY

We’re the problem solvers!

In that moment, I felt like God was romancing my heart with that plastic bag. It felt as though God had drawn an invisible line from the week in the summer that I was having such hard time to that moment at Christmas Eve. I felt like He was saying: See - I tried to tell you I'm trustworthy! Even when you were having a hard time trusting me, my heart towards you never changed.

I love remembering that story every year. This is why I love Christmas so much. It’s a wonderful truth that God has chosen to show us time and again: He is Emmanuel, God with us.