Rest from the lies

I just returned from a Ladies Retreat this last weekend. It was AMAZING. I met some wonderful people and enjoyed getting to spend some special time with God. 

During one of the sessions, a speaker had us write a letter from God TO ourselves. I wrote one sentence. Then I went to the bathroom and cried. And cried. And cried. I was so overwhelmed by God's love and goodness it was all I could do. Then a lady came into the bathroom, so I chatted with her a few moments and she told me I should come to the prayer room later. I did. And God spoke to me. Encouraging words that made me feel ten feet tall and ready to fight. Words that lightened my load and gave me faith. It's so amazing that God knows what I need.

One thing I feel like God addressed was the lie that my "little" prayers that I shoot out through the day are useless. There is a nagging thought that unless I can devote a solid half hour on my knees, then I haven't really prayed. But that's not true! The thought that any prayer is "little" is a farce and a delusion - there is no such thing! The Lord's prayer is less than a minute to pray, and it is the model Jesus used to teach us how to pray.

In the evenings, the ladies in our cabin would gather in the living room to visit and play games. (I say cabin loosely - we had dorms that fit four to a room and our own bathrooms.) On the evening of the letter writing day - of writing what God wanted to say to us - it was amazing to hear each lady share what God had spoken to her.

One lady had an abusive father growing up. Her letter started with My Precious Daughter... she stopped and cried for several minutes at these simple words, because her own father had never called her precious before.

Someone else shared that God had told them... You are worthy. 
Growing up in a Christian home, she had always thought Why am I so blessed while others don't even know You?  It left her feeling undeserving - as if there were so many others who ought to be blessed, but weren't.

Another lady shared that she, too, felt unworthy, but for different reasons. She had done things as a teenager that she regretted, but was unable to change. After hearing a few ladies saying the same thing, one of my friends leaned forward and asked,  Is the devil telling us all the same lie?! It was an eye opener to recognize how silly it appeared once out in the open. Almost like a guy with a bad pick-up line... this one is about to lose its charm.

You are too loud and boisterous. People don't like you.
You are too quiet and bashful. People don't like you.
You are overweight and unattractive. People don't like you.
You are skinny as a rail. People don't like you.
Blah, blah, blah...on it goes... fill in the blanks.

Anything that causes us to cower down, to doubt the goodness of God or avoid Him altogether is just a sign that lies are in the house. It was beautiful to see the freedom that came when we stopped long enough to let God speak truth into our lives.

The last night, everyone got in a line and danced across the front. Well, nearly everyone. I stayed in my spot, weeping. It was so beautiful to see people let go of insecurity and self consciousness long enough to just be a child again in God's living room.

I felt like God was pleased. I could nearly see Jesus smiling and saying, See! They like what we've done for them! They are happy and thankful. Just look at them dancing... 

It made me realize God is thankful for us.  He is blessed when we work with Him to reach out to people He cares about. And one day, we will get to kneel and thank Him for all He has done in our lives. And He will thank us too! We always think of serving God as being one-sided, but it's not. God is constantly serving us by listening when we pray, meeting our needs, encouraging us when we are down, and surprising us with paintings in the sky. God serves us, and yet He loses none of His authority by doing so! What a good God He is...