The stories I'm NOT telling you in Faceland

Ah, Faceland- it's so easy to be lulled into your vanities.

As much as I want to avoid it, I too, craft my posts to only reflect the best side of what is going on in my life. Not because I want to make people envious- because I don't- but because if I choose to compile my Facebook posts into a book, I don't want it to be filled with gripes, complaints, and pictures of my laundry-filled bedroom floor. I want to remember good things, so I share the good things.

(If you still think I'm perfect, please visit this post and lay your misconceptions to rest.
Please and Thank you.)

I am writing today to catch you up on all the juicy details you've been deprived of knowing these last few months. Brace yourself, disappointments and real world moments to follow!

Faceland edit #1: Our gambling problem.

We have lost nearly $2,000 dollars in the last year to bring family members up for a visit, only for them to cancel at last minute. Apparently, we can't even pay people to come and see us. We also discovered travel insurance doesn't cover cancellations unless someone dies, loses their job, or becomes medically unfit for travel. (Here's where lying would have REALLY come in handy. pffft)

It's okay though, I'm looking at it like a burnt offering to the Lord. Can you imagine how annoyed farmers must have felt to bring their BEST sheep to be burned at the altar?!? We gave our best, and it went unused... so that's just like a burnt offering in the old days, right? Right!

Lesson learned though. So if you want to visit us, you might need to save up some $$$ first. 

Faceland edit #2: My ill-kept home.

Remember when I did this project?

This is what my sink looked like the following morning:

And.... the rest of the house was just as sad looking.

See, I can't do it all- I drop a few balls to do what I value, and I pick them up the following day.
It's okay. The kids are still alive and no one was harmed in the re-creation of the vintage trunk.

Faceland edit #3: The L word.

We've had to deal with lice - not once, but twice in the last 6 weeks. You can imagine how fun that is in a house with 4 long haired females. Fun fun. (Note the sarcasm.) From what I've learned, if you are not dealing a hard and heavy blow to those critters the first time around, they will resurrect a colony from one overlooked nit. Now is that the kind of thing you want to read over your morning meal?
No, no it's not.

If we've recently visited in person, you're safe- we finished dealing with this a couple weeks ago.

Faceland edit #4: Massive hair loss.

No, I haven't cut my hair- not yet, anyway. This is just an old picture from a few years ago.

For the last month, I have been losing so much hair every time I shower, it nearly clogs the drain. Then another handful comes out when I brush it. It was really noticeable when I put my hair up in a bun the other day and all the baby hairs were sticking out around my head.

Nice, Real nice.

Ethan loves my long hair, but it is thinning out so much I either want to cut it all off and get a new start, or get a perm. Which may not be the best idea, since I'm already losing so much hair. But maybe it would give me a little more body? Hey, I'm from the South. I LOVE big hair. 

Faceland edit #5: My wardrobe is shrinking.

Ahem, remember when I shared this:

I was well into my fourth pregnancy, and had officially reached the highest weight in my LIFE -all for a good cause, of course.

Afterward, I lost nearly 40 pounds. Yay! : )

In the last couple months, I've gained some of that back. Boo. : /

I only have one pair of jeans that fit well right now.
I bought pants at the Secondhand store, but they were too small.
So I bought pants from an online retailer. They were too tight.
Then I bought pants from another online retailer. They were too short.
So I tried to host a clothing swap, hoping to trade into something that would fit, and one person showed up. Without pants. I mean, they were wearing pants, they just didn't bring any pants to trade. Bummer.

So when I say my wardrobe is shrinking, I don't mean my clothes are disappearing, I mean my pants are too small. I live in one pair of jeans, two pairs of yoga pants, and one pair of black capris- which doesn't sound too bad when I write it down.
If I were a minimalist, I'd be proud of myself. I guess I'm not quite there yet.

Faceland edit #6: Sometimes I let my kids eat dirt.

Not on purpose, mind you.

 It just kinda happens sometimes when I'm getting ready to take cute pictures like this:

Since we're on the topic of pictures, I'll let you in on a secret:

Faceland edit #7: Not every picture I take is worth sharing.

Sometimes I look out the window to see this:

So I rush outside to get more pictures -ohmygoodness!! they look so cute!

And I end up getting pictures like this instead:

See? I have real world moments too! My kids get cranky and tired just like yours! 

Just don't tell anyone okay? I don't want people to think I'm human or anything...

Sometimes I feel so cute, so I ask Jasmine to take a picture, and we get this:

the Headless Mom

Okay. I have just given you enough dirt to incriminate me for life.

Well, maybe not for life, maybe a few days or so. But now you know- 

I am not perfect! 

My life is not perfect! 

It's just that I have enough friends dealing with real issues that it seems trite to complain about my hair falling out, or the fact that I have only one pair of jeans that actually fit well and I can't just run into Target and buy new because All The Stores are SIX hours away and even when I try to buy pants online, they don't fit OR they look like I bought Granny pants. See how carried away I get just thinking about it? 

Well, now I've told you the stories I hadn't told you in Faceland. The most recent ones, anyway. 

Now you know:

Life is more than meets the eye on your Facebook feed.