10 things this daughter needs to hear...

I remember when I got the call.

Ethan and I were still unpacking and settling into our dorm room. We had just flown from Alaska to Oregon to do a Discipleship Training Course with Youth With A Mission a day or so before. We were excited to be doing missions together.

It was sometime in the afternoon when Ethan's cousin came to the door and passed us his phone - I don't even remember who called, I just remember them telling me my Mom had just passed away. I passed the phone back, shocked, and immediately started sobbing. I remember going into the bathroom because it felt like I was going to retch. I ended up slumped on the floor, crying and feeling like I'd just been sucker punched.

We spent our first day of school attending my Mom's funeral in Tennessee.

This year will mark 10 years since I received that call.

I'd love to say it doesn't hurt anymore, but that's not entirely true. There are moments when I ache for the chance to call my mom and tell her the cute things my girls are doing, and I wish I could ask her what things I did when I was that age. Unfortunately, my Mom passed away in 2004 at the age of 44, two full years before we welcomed our first baby home.

There are days I wish I could have the reassurance of a soul that has held my heart in her own body, but I have to settle for silence. I know my Mom had a rough life. I'm not sure what she would say if she were still here, but there are some words that I'm sure every daughter would love to hear. In no particular order, here are some things I'd love to hear on those rough days...

1. I'm proud of you. Just because you're mine.

2. You're a good Mom. It's okay that you lost it. Your girls are young still. They may not remember anything from their first years, but they will remember that you loved them.

3. Beauty is not a size. It's the confidence you carry that is beautiful. It is the kindness you show to others that is beautiful. That kind of inner beauty will never fade.

4. I love you. I love the way you are. Don't get so frustrated by the way God made you! Creative people may be more scattered than others, but they are the ones who make the world a beautiful place to be!

5. Embrace the way you're made; it's the best way to thank God for the gifts He's given to you. :)

6. Stop worrying. If you care enough to think you're not being the best parent, then you care enough to do better at it. You're not a tree. You can change!

7. You are so smart! No one needs a college degree or a student loan to be a lifelong learner.

8. It's okay to leave things a mess sometimes. Messes can wait; babies, not so much.

              Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

              But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.

              So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.

              I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.

9. You're on Facebook? Well, just make sure you send me all those cute pictures too!

10. I love spending time with you; you're one of my favorite people. :)

PS. You and Ethan make the most beautiful grandchildren.

Just wish I lived closer so I could spoil them more....