Tea party confessions

A few months ago, I had the chance to throw a tea party for a group of young women. I started our time together by confiding: 

When it comes to tea parties, I'm a faker.

It's funny to say that, especially since most of my friends - after any length of acquaintance - associate me with tea + teacups + tea parties. 

It's true! I love anything to do with tea, but it's not because I grew up with the tradition. Hey, I'm from the south. I didn't know tea existed apart from its icy sweetened form. I've never watched Downton Abbey, never visited England, and had never tasted hot tea until I moved to Alaska in my early 20s. 

Tea was not my thing. 

However, after having four girls in succession, it is something that quickly became part of our family culture. 

It's just that I don't know how to do a proper tea. 

You know - with crystal glasses and proper placement of utensils and cute little finger sandwiches and such. I don't know how to do all those things. 

Case in point: when our family was in Argentina on a mission trip several years ago, we came across this adorable tea sandwich shop. I didn't know that's what it was at the time; I'd never seen such a place in my life.

But there they were, all those beautiful lily white crustless tea sandwiches with cucumbers and dainty fillings, all wrapped and displayed in their petite rows.

It was like Subway went gourmet! (Sorry guys; that was the extent of my sandwich knowledge at the time.)

I'm sure we must have horrified the locals when we ordered several of those beautiful tea sandwiches, then promptly stepped out the door to unwrap and devour them.

On the street. 

In front of their store. 

Without a smack of tea to go with it.

See? I'm not the Tea Party Queen.

However, I know that whenever I serve my girls something - anything - in a teacup, it immediately makes them feel special. It makes them want to sit up straighter and use their best manners. It makes me want to light a candle and put on music from the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack. 

The bottom line is: having tea parties together makes my girls feel special and loved, and that feeling is what I want them to remember when they grow up.

And that, sweet friends, is why we have tea parties.

It's about love.

Everything in love

This is day four of caring for sick children.

Friday morning my oldest woke up with a massive headache, feeling lethargic and feverish. She threw up that morning, and afterward she smiled at me from the couch, Mom, I feel happy! 

I think that was her hopeful wish that she was on the mend, but no.

Saturday Ethan filled up our propane tank that had been empty (Translation: now we have hot water!), so I ran a bath for the one that had been sick. A few moments after bathing, I helped to settle her into bed (my own bed, so I could monitor her better) and she immediately threw up- I just couldn't find a container in time.

So off come the blankets, the sheets, the mattress protector, the pillows, all up to the laundry room.

And in the next two days, each of my other four children began to wake with headaches and fevers, spending most of the day coughing, sleeping, whining, and fussing - all while I continue to administer medicine, echinacea tea, breathing treatments and soda crackers.

This is life.

C.S. Lewis once wrote:

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day.”

Since this is my 'real' life and not an exception to it, I am leaning in. 

Leaning into the quiet moments of serving these little women of my own, and trusting God delights in this faithfulness as much as any "big" project I've worked on.

The greatest among you must be the servant of all.

So when the laundry piles up, dishes clutter the counter, voices resound
with the sound of yet another request and strength fades before the day ends,
I can take comfort in the fact that I am in good company:

God lives here too.

Motherhood is ministry too

A few days ago, one of our mission partners requested photos of our work here.

You know - ministry photos.

They wanted to share our work on their website so others could see what we are doing up here.

Sounds great! I'd love to share! I'll get right on that!

As I scrolled through months of photos, I began to feel awkward.

We don't have a lot of ministry photos recently, especially since our last students graduated in November.

Instead, I found a lot of photos like this:

Playtimes at the park.

Art projects.

Baking creations.

Pirate treasures.

Jasmine is our resident baker: she has made birthday cakes for each of us this last year.

She loves baking so much that we stayed up one night brainstorming what it would look like to sell cupcakes at the Farmer's Market. After discussing startup costs, the supplies she would need to get, the time it would take to cook every week, and the flavors she would make (Coconut cream! Raspberry Lemon!), I got so excited about it that I sketched out a logo for her the following day:

Cupcake Cafe.






























Then I came across these photos. This was the day the girls decided to fill a little jewelry box with treasures, wrapped it in saran wrap, and buried it in the yard.

Jasmine drew a treasure map and the girls spent over two hours playing and searching for their buried treasure outside that day, in spite of the cold!

Then there's the day we made sushi and enjoyed Chinese music while we practiced our chopstick skills.

And let's not forget the morning I checked my voicemail to hear: Hey guys! I bought a ticket and will be there tomorrow! As in, I am calling you between flights.

So we halted life for a visit. We read books, did art together, and had our nails painted- because that's what you do when family comes in for a couple of days. You stop to enjoy them.

As I scrolled through all my photos, I found more of the same:

Meals together, baking projects, secret agent spy games, and books we've read.
Art, fun places visited, snow days and snuggle times.

As I scrolled through the last few months of pictures, it dawned on me: these are all ministry photos:  

I am ministering to my children.

Every note, every meal, all the moments I have spent encouraging their creativity: this is ministry.

All the hugs, all the quick kisses on the forehead, every kind word spoken: this is ministry.

Every time I pray for them, or Ethan reads yet another evening devotion: this is ministry.

And I wonder, Why is it so easy to forget that?

We have other ministry opportunities- yes. 

I love to teach at Women's Conferences and Discipleship Schools. I enjoy helping to lead worship from the piano and sharing wisdom through speaking and writing.

Ethan is amazing at connecting with people, making them feel seen and valued. As a Youth Leader, he is lively and fun to be around. As a missionary, he is a very practical, hands-on guy who sees the value of meeting real needs.

I know what our friends were asking for when they requested those pictures, and I will be sending them some great photos. I mean, we've volunteered at the World Eskimo and Indian Olympics! We've taught in Bible schools, and done a lot of service projects since returning to Alaska- we have wonderful photos to share!

But I feel I've been given a gift with this new perspective.

Motherhood is ministry too. 

2017 in Review

Well, we made it.

2017 was a year of Big Changes, as we packed up and left South Dakota to return to Alaska as missionaries.

I've been looking through my journals and stories to get a feel for the last year, and I thought I'd share with you as well.

Highlights: moments that stood out to me this last year.

Artistic accomplishments: because creativity is a superpower in our house.

Lessons learned: because wisdom doesn't just zap you when you hit 80; it's something you have to glean along the way.

Highlights

In February, Jasmine was baptized. Made my Mom heart happy.

Because we spent the first part of the year in the Midwest, we were able to see family a lot more. Family in Tennessee, Iowa, and Missouri were all visited and loved on. A lot.

In April, we left South Dakota and traveled across the US to head back to Alaska as missionaries with Youth With A Mission. We took a month and visited with friends and family along the way.

This is my Roadtrip face... because ya know, motion sickness.

Ethan and I celebrated our 15th anniversary in July.

 

In August, we moved into a house and hosted over fifteen people in the first two weeks of being there!  

In September, Maya got her first big haircut. She had been wanting a bob for the longest, so we decided to let it be a birthday wish granted. 

In October, I flew down to Tennessee to teach at a Discipleship Training School (DTS) for a week.

October is also the month we agreed to become Youth Pastors at our local church. Love!

In November, our students graduated from their Discipleship Training School (DTS). This is the entry level school in Youth With A Mission.

December was a month-long Love Fest, as we experienced God's abundant provision. See here and here for more details on that one.

Also, Ethan shaved! One of our pastors actually had him stand up in church so he could re-introduce him to everyone- so funny. I missed that handsome face!

Creativity

2017 was a year of great beauty, and I spent a lot of time honing my iPhone photography skills trying to capture it. (If I could ever find my battery charger, I'll start using my real camera again...)

I also took a little time to do watercolors this fall and tried a couple new mediums: wood burning and embroidery.

 Lessons Learned (or in process):

God is with us. 

Sounds trite I know, but when you're getting ready to move your family across the US for a job that you absolutely love (for which there is no salary- welcome to missions!) and you're feeling a little overwhelmed at the thought of spending your last dime to do it, yeah. That little phrase takes on some weight. It is no longer a trite phrase, it is your lifeline to courage.

While looking through my journal from last year, I found this entry:

February 13, 2017
When thinking about returning to Homer as missionaries, I asked the Lord to give me courage.
He reminded me of Moses and Joshua. When they needed courage, God promised to be with them.

Thank you for being with me God.

So if this were a math problem, it would be Awareness of God's presence = Courage.

Joshua 1:9 sums it up quite well:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

While in Oregon, I came across this bracelet and bought it as a tangible reminder of God's promise to be with us:

God helps the helpless.

I know, I know. That wouldn't go over well in mainstream American Christianity, because hello?!? Everyone knows God helps those who help themselves, right?! And sometimes, maybe that's true.

But you won't find a verse in the Bible that says that.

Instead, you'll find God creating laws to leave food behind when harvesting, because not everyone is a farmer, and life doesn't always go the way you planned. Think: Ruth

You'll see God delivering an entire nation of people out of Egypt and supernaturally providing food for them for fourteen thousand six hundred days - 40 whole years. And guess what? They weren't farming in that desert; they couldn't help themselves. God deliberately chose to feed those cranky Israelites in spite of themselves! Because God helps the helpless.

I came across a verse in Isaiah 40 that read,

The Everlasting Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth- He doesn't get tired! 

He does not grow weary! He gives strength to the weary.

And I immediately thought- Hey! That's me! Weary. Overwhelmed. Stressed about our future, finances, and all the things accumulating on my to-do list. 

You know what? Sometimes I don't know how to calm the anxiety.

Sometimes I can't make things better, and the best thought I have is to Pray. And I'm beginning to think my broken places are open doors to the kindness of God.

I need a brain transplant.

Okay, that was a bit dramatic. What I mean to say is, I'm learning I need to change the way I think.

From my journal:

February 12

On the way to church this morning, I got my feelings hurt.

It was over something silly and small, but I immediately felt stupid.

Even last night I was hearing that accusing voice. After cleaning up the house and doing dishes, I was folding two loads of laundry in the family closet. I just began thinking I am so lazy - WHILE folding clothes.

So ironic.

I feel like my mind is poisoned.  : /

/  /  /  /  /  /  /  /  /  /  /  /

I'm learning to recognize lies - I don't do anything well.

Flip them around - I can do things well.

And amplify that truth - I am creative, artistic, and gifted at bringing beauty to my surroundings. 

See there? That last statement was a whole lot closer to truth than that first one. 

Problem is, we often get so accustomed to lies that we don't confront them. 

Another thing I learned: when doing this process, stop trying to untangle your feelings. If you can figure out the thought behind the feeling (Hint: it's often a lie), then you've won half the battle. That was a good one for me to discover, because I spend far more time grappling with emotions and feelings than the thoughts behind them.

This last lesson came from my sweet friend, Laural. 

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

So there you have it; 2017 in Review. It's not everything that happened, but I think that pretty much covers the big parts.

What about you?

How was your year? What have you learned?